Spiney gonk perfume…

4 01 2013

Howdy-doody folks!

Before we enter the wonderful world of my childhood ramblings on the curious account of flight 5079 and the unknown island, I must first waffle a bit about something a friend of mine reminded me of after yesterday’s post.


I haven’t seen good old-fashioned gonks for yonks (sorry, that was too tempting to avoid). You’d generally find them at fetes, jumble sales, carnivals and the like, where they’d gather in eye-wateringly colourful groups on tables under the watchful eyes of their makers. Sometimes you’d see a lone gonk with a raffle ticket attached to it on a tombola stall. I liked gonks. And when I was little and I liked things, I tended to take them apart to see how they were made. Your average, common-or-garden gonk was made by rolling up a strip of corrugated carboard a few inches high, gluing it to a circle of thick cardboard, wrapping a lurid piece of very long-haired fake fur round the corrugated cylinder, and gluing a pair of those wibbly eyes to the fur. And the eyes generally always fell off. I remember solving the wayward eye problem (caused by said eyes being glued to the very long-haired fake fur) by snipping a couple of patches of the fur off and re-attaching the eyes to the remaining stubble. There’s probably some Health & Safety reason for why you don’t see proper gonks these days… chokey fur and swallowy eyes perhaps…

So, thank you Sarah for reminding me about that! Sarah writes and illustrates books for children – you can find her work here and follow her on twitter @limeylimericks.

And now onto today’s creature – I’m still playing the “I was 9” card, must get up into the loft over the weekend to perform a detailed handwriting comparison with my old school books…

Ladieeeeees and gentlemen! I give you…

The Spot-o-Spine

The Spot-o-Spine is a frightening beast
It rushes at you ‘ZOOM’
But all it does is stop and grin
And spray you with perfume!

No, I’m not sure what the bloke’s holding either. I’m sure it was very significant at the time…




2 responses

5 01 2013
Sarah Froggatt

Health & safety, gonks and trolls got canned,
So why isn’t Mr Potato Head banned?
I think if I had spots like that on my head,
I’d use Mace back at the Spot-o-Spine instead.

Your description of how to make a gonk, was worthy of a Blue Peter Badge 😉

I wonder, actually, do you think the Spot-o-Spine would use Mace today instead?

Maybe the bloke was carrying a spot busting pen and a bucket to capture the muck?

27 01 2013
rose appleby

Lol! Dang, missed a Blue Peter Badge opportunity there then! I think the Spot-o-Spine might use Old Spice these days…! Eeeeeew, that’s nasty – but I like it! x

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