Water, water everywhere…

3 10 2013


In honour of National Poetry Day 2013, I decided to do another Crazy Rhymey Challenge. Twitter provided a record-breaking 20 (mainly) watery words, which I’ve built into a rather dubious rhyme…! You can find out more about National Poetry Day here – take a look, maybe there’s something in your area you could go along to! The theme this year is “water, water everywhere” in homage to… well, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you!

Here are the words the lovely folk of Twitter sent me to include:

@LimeyLimericks: cheese
@LewBearMusic: jirble
@moggyminor: ripple
@mooseandmouse: hydrant, gush (or gushing), cistern
@KeninSpoons: droplet, rain, drain fountain
@shaggydogyarns: piscean, water wings, submariner, lavatorial, Thomas Crapper
@Giddyasfuck: trickle
@ofTheTimesShop: aqueduct
@ThisIsBinghamUK: splish splash splosh

Oh, a final thing before launching into today’s rhyme – this Crazy Rhymey Challenge often throws up some interesting words, or sends me off on a quest and I end up learning a new one. Today I discovered the word “chagul“. Look it up if you don’t know it!

Right, now hang on to your hats, here we go!

Graham’s watery wanderings…

Graham sighed aloud
And gave his chagul one more squeeze
He hadn’t anything to drink –
He only had some cheese.

He’d wandered day and night
Of his location not a clue
And just to make things worse
He had a big hole in one shoe.

The sun beat down upon his head
As he longed for a tipple
Then squinting hard he gave a yell –
He thought he’d seen a ripple!

He stared again, and yes!
There in the distance was a hydrant
Surrounded by a pool and trees
In colours bright and vibrant.

As Graham ran towards it
He could hear the water gushing
He very nearly tripped
What with the speed of all his rushing.

But just as he approached it –
As he reached out with his hand,
The pool and hydrant disappeared
And all there was was sand.

Graham started howling
Why were deserts all so fickle?
Then suddenly he paused –
And thought “I’m sure I heard a trickle!”

He turned his head and listened hard
And then said “Oh my gosh!
That ain’t no aural mirage
That’s a real-life proper splosh!”

And turning round again
He saw a humble wooden hut
Looking lavatorial
And with door firmly shut.

Then with a noisy rattle
Said shut door was flung a-wide
And out came a submariner,
A seagull by his side.

“Hello!” said he, and doffed his cap
(He really looked quite dapper)
“Are you another tourist
Here to see the Thomas Crapper?”

“Or are you with that other group?
If so you’ve sadly missed ’em –
But step inside, I’ll demonstrate
Our famous antique cistern.”

“Water!” Graham croaked
“Oh please sir, say you have a drink!
I’ve gone so long without it now
That I can hardly think!”

The sailor took his flask and cup
And jirbled out a dram
Then passing it to Graham he asked
“Have you walked, or swam?”

“Walked,” said Graham, all refreshed,
“There is no other way!”
The seagull flapped its water-wings
And squawked out “Oh, I say!”

“You mean you didn’t notice
Our stupendous aqueduct?
It’s right behind you, look –
It took us ages to construct.”

Graham turned around
And then he turned around again,
And noticed to his great surprise
The elevated drain.

The submariner proudly glowed
And flourished a large goblet
Then taking out his flask again
He shook out the last droplet.

“Ain’t it fine?” he said,
“And in the words of Brendan Behan,
‘It wouldn’t have been possible
If I were not Piscean’!”

“He never said that!” Graham cried
“That quote is utter trash!”
Before the sailor could reply
They heard a mighty splash.

And from the graceful aqueduct
There rose a mighty mountain
And from its back there spurted
A humongous water fountain.

“It’s Moby Dick!” The seagull said
“Wow, that’s one massive fish!”
Moby frowned and twitched his tail
Which made an angry splish.

“I say, that’s rather harsh,” he said
And eyed them with disdain,
The suddenly to their surprise
Down came the pouring rain.

Graham looked up dismally
Then heard a voice decree,
“Get out that sand-pit, come inside!
It’s nearly time for tea!”

Thank you to everyone who joined in with this Crazy Rhymey Challenge. And now I’m off to go and get ready to head to Cadogan Hall to see Pam Ayres, hurrah!




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